And so it starts

So, my first blog. Its been a very long time since the last time I actually sat down and blogged. And its a little crazy to being doing this again. I so often times lack the ambition to sit and write, or lose focus, or even more so, dont have much to talk about. But here I am. I know Im not alone in this, even though I dont know much of anyone on here, or out there. I wouldnt even know where to start. I wont be long.

Its a curious thing, actually, I have a Myspace page, that I like, never use anymore. But I took the time to look back and read all my posts from when I first started my page till the last post. I know, how bored I must have been. I admit, quite bored, but it was interesting to read and look back and realize how MUCH i had changed in almost 5 years. How depressed, and b!@tchy I was. I pined over things, I look back now, and see how incredibly stupid I was at times. It was interesting to read, or silly in love and how QUICKLY I feel in love with the man of my dreams. Its crazy to think, even though, I was silly, immature, and stupid (I'll admit it) I was, I would just write. And its almost sad to know that I dont write quite nearly enough as I used too. Writing is such a great outlet to release all that is building up inside of you, whether, its love, hatred, sadness, or just a need to express your thought and feelings about certain subjects that we come across.

I dont write poetry like I used too and it disappoints me. I have abandoned my book that I have been writing, which now, had been lost when my hard drive crashed. everything on my computer was lost. I would love to get back into those things again, and hopefully, one day, I shall actually finish writing a book. I wouldnt even care if it didnt get published. Just having the satisfaction of accomplishing something, would be enough. And you, not being prideful or anything, but it was kinda weird reading some of my older poems, and I would get chills reading them. I would read them and think, "naw, this cannot be me? Can it?" I lack inhibition to write poetry like I used too, no matter how dark and twisted it was.

But people change and so is the way of life. Gosh now, just even formulating these thoughts, is almost depressing! Im sorry. This was not the route I was wanting to be taking. And Im sorry if I havent been entertaining enough. So this is it for now. TO another blog, another subject, and some more random ramblings. And I challenge you to enter my world....if you dare....

--end transmittion

AP

* Currently watching: Young Victoria ft: Emily Blunt