Venting

Here is what I think. So listen up! I just have to get this off my chest before I explode. But there are two things that really bother me. So here it goes:

1) If we werent friends when we were kids. we still arent friends now, why do you think I want to be friends with you on facebook. I think after the 3rd time of denying your request that you would get the hint/picture/clue that I dont want to be friends. You have made my childhood a living nightmare. You made me think that it did matter what I did, I was unwanted, that you could turn my own friends' backs on me, that I was unpretty and that you were more important, special than me and prettier than me because your parents were important people. I wasted too many years and too many tears trying to gain approval.This is ridiculous. YOU are ridiculous! Now I suppose you "want" to be friends with me oblivious to everything or that you "want" to be friends just so that you could secretly keep tabs on me or  maybe it just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I dont know. I dont care. Just STOP! You have ruined enough friendships and my life already.

2) unrelated to #1. You said you couldnt be friends with me (us) anymore because we werent "Christian" enough because we didnt spend 24/7/356 talking about God, praying or reading the Bible. So you decided to sever the ties using unsound doctrine to justify your reasoning. The you come gala-venting back into our lives after 1+ years expecting everything to be hunky dory. Well its not.And the whole time you ignore me, ridicule me and you expect me to welcome you back with open arms. Man do you have a faulty way of showing/proving you want to be friends.And I know that your partner in crime is going to say I have a bitter heart. I dont have a bitter heart. I hold my heart with great regard. I have had my heart broken too many times and I kept giving people 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 10+ changes only have the rug pulled out from under me. I trust easily and get crushed/let down for it. I am learning from past experiences. So no! No I dont want be friends again. Not now. Not ever, especially with someone who "questioned" my faith when I havent given any reason for you to question it. You stand with someone who is so absorbed in himself that he has led you blindly down the wrong path and told me husband to turn away from me when I stood up for myself. Because I will not! Will not be silenced! I owe no apology for my behavior because I am not the one with the problem.

So needless to say, if I dont have you as a friend on facebook, then there probably is a reason. Either I havent added you yet or I dont want to be friends with you!....Thats all.





--End Transmission
AP




*Watching: Iron Chef America